Happy Spring. It’s Mud Season… which means transitions. And I need to ramble for a bit.
Last month I took a jazz class. I was so nervous to put myself out there, take a bite of humble pie and do this thing I love that I’ve neglected for so long. As a side note, I also recently started taking ballet… back to ballet basics with Meg, which is a perfect fit for this 49 year old who hasn’t really taken formal classes in a looooong time. I still cry sometimes (literally, and in class at times) at my inability to perform even a single turn with grace and ease, thinking back to the time I could to a triple flawlessly. Then a couple weeks ago I really stepped out of my comfort zone and went to the “Steppin’ into Spring” dance party hosted by SDT and Goodhart’s Dancin. It’s always been a bucket list item of mine to learn how to partner dance, but I’ve never partnered and find myself tripping over my own two feet. I’m grateful for a friend who pulled me onto the dance floor and helped ease the anxiety; I probably would have stayed wall-flowered the whole class if it hadn’t been for her.
In these experiences, somewhere along the way, as the music played and the dance filled my soul, I feel grounded again. Dance has this way of bringing out joy in a way that is unlike anything else. It is STILL vulnerable, but vulnerability and joy can co-exist. Putting oneself out there in such a way that says “here I am, flawed and all” has a way of reminding us that we ALL experience life, together. This vulnerability is so beautiful.
Oh and another thing… I’ve been having conversations with my son about auditions for the Nutcracker. He’s TERRIFIED to audition, terrified of looking dumb, terrified of the whole process (he’s an extrovert by the way!). I explained (not that it matters to an 11 year old) that I felt the same way, went through the same thing, and here I am still alive, still standing, still existing, better for the experiences. We talk about the fact that in so much of life you have to put yourself out there, you have to do uncomfortable things, to grow and to gain confidence in sitting with those uncomfortable situations. Uncomfortable situations help push us through growth edges. Growth edges don’t come without putting yourself out there.
Let’s also talk about grace. Giving ourselves grace as we age, as we experience life, as we falter and fall, and as we get back up and try again. We shift. I grew up thinking I had to be perfect. But staying locked and loaded in that mentality meant my reality was unattainable. When I let go of that, and embraced the rawness and realness of my own existence, I found a deeper, richer life. Grace.
Next month Steamboat Dance Theatre is launching Dance Vitality: The Movement Experience. In March we brought Hillary Sinn, a licensed dance therapist and somatic psychotherapist, to Steamboat to train 8 instructors on Dance Therapy techniques. We will offer one-on-one and community sessions to support mental health. One concept I absolutely loved in this training is the concept of movement repertoire. The notion that if you can expand your thinking and the ways in which your body moves, you subconsciously teach your brain that you can expand your ability to meet life’s challenges, tackling them in new ways. I’ve never been a dance-in-my-living room kind of gal. I need choreography, to be taught, to be told what to do. I learned so much about myself in that training, and felt dumb and vulnerable a lot. Even when she put on music and asked us to close our eyes and move, I just stood there, frozen, paralyzed with “HOW?” But again, the music played, and finally, I moved. Vulnerability. Growth edges: yes.
Dance has been proven to be more effective than antidepressants for treating depression; as it rewires the brain and helps with mind/body connection. I’m super duper excited to launch this initiative for the community, to offer a new resource and tool for those struggling. Living in town where athletes, beauty, and perfection run amuck- it’s easy to get caught thinking something is wrong with us if we don’t enjoy xyz about being here, or “keep up with the Joneses.” When those feelings snowball, when those mental walls break, move your body.
Just, move.
